Author Archives: Judith Pettersen

When Mari was three years old, she slept in the bedroom across the hall. We had an open door policy, which meant if any of our kids got sick, had a bad dream, or needed a cuddle, they could crawl in with mom and dad.  Our bed was king sized, and we kept our bedroom door open. Theirs were kept closed at nightContinue reading “Ninja Sex”

Like our old board game, Clue, this story has been stashed away for many years.  I’ve picked over the memory from time to time. Shared it with a few friends. But with Clarence’s Brandon University reunion happening this weekend, I’m ready to take it out of the closet and hold it up to the light of day. Is it shameful?Continue reading “Mrs. Pettersen, In the Elevator, With Guy Thornton”

I was hanging upside down cleaning the bathtub when I happened to catch sight of my face. It was sagging the wrong way and looking very red. Think Arnold Schwartznegger in the end of days. Not the movie. His real end of days. Especially if he is constipated on the way out. I was startled. My husband has never mentioned seeing meContinue reading “Sweet, Savage Love”

Last week, very, very early, a fire alarm went off at our place in Winnipeg. Since we live on the 20th floor and Clarence had just had surgery, this was worrying.  What if it wasn’t a drill? The elevators were locked so I started down the stairwell to check things out. I had reached the 3rd floor when a voice came over the intercom. ‘Please stay inContinue reading “Cry Baby”

I went for a walk the other evening in our Osborne Village neighborhood, heading down Nassau and turning left at the corner of Wellington Crescent. There is a building right there that I have always admired. Impulsively I headed up the driveway, and wouldn’t you know it, the door swung open like it was expecting me. The small foyer inside showed beautiful and wonderfully cleanContinue reading “Way Station”

At four in the morning, there is not much to do around my place. Especially when the house is full of people, including a toddler who wakes at the slightest sound. Exhausted, bored, and fearing the appearance of a rambunctious one year old, I hid out in the bathroom. After styling my hair in a variety of fashions IContinue reading “While You Were Sleeping”

I hate being short. When my younger sister, Susan, shot past me in childhood, the unjustness of it hit hard. Now I’ve become invisible, and the self pity party is back in full swing. It seems the automatic sensors on towel dispensers and toilets can’t see me. I stand waiting, my wet hands raised in the air like a prepped surgeon. Nothing happens. I wave. Nothing. Tap it.Continue reading “The Invisible Woman”

In life, sometimes a person needs a behavior check. Or a mood check. Usually we don’t even realize it. Thank goodness for friends. Or in my case, siblings who don’t wait for friends to speak up. The first hint of their concern is a gentle tone of voice. Susan and Linda are masters at this. “Am I going around the bend?” I start to wonder. “Am I the lastContinue reading “Six Girls and a Guy”

There is a new product on the market called ‘The Butterfly.’ It is a subtly named  body liner designed to prevent ‘accidental bowel  leakage.’ And no, I haven’t started using product placement in my writing, though given the contents of my April blog, I’d probably do well to buy some stock in the company. Allow me to be a little more high brow thanContinue reading “Please Insert the Butterfly”

Last year my four year old niece Lilly came down with the stomach flu. When finally offered something to eat, she shook her head sadly, saying, “My teeth are afraid of the chicken.” We spend our lives wanting to be understood. But not all of us have Lilly’s gift for conveying exactly what we mean. Our desire to be heard  is primal; aContinue reading “Let Me Paint You a Picture”