Everyone Shut the Hell Up

Some people find their gardens restful. In the summer I feel the same way, but in spring, I find my plants to be very whiny. Think kindergarteners crossed with junior high kids, with a few immature high schoolers thrown in for good measure. It starts with the potted plants. I’m planting petunias with a coupleContinue reading “Everyone Shut the Hell Up”

Assembly Line at the Ninth Gate

A few years ago, after a fraught experience putting furniture together, I wrote an essay titled, The Devil is Swedish, His Name is Ikea. This past week I realized that in the world of furniture assembly, the lord of Hell is still running the show. It’s the same manuals with badly drawn diagrams and tinyContinue reading “Assembly Line at the Ninth Gate”

It’s a Mutant, Mutant World

Last weekend I got caught up watching a movie on TV. I’m fairly certain it will never end up on Netflix or Prime, because it was awful. A Mutant World had the following problems. Bad acting Terrible directing Dreadful script Unbelievable storyline Accidentally hilarious special effects and costuming (The mutants looked like they were fleeingContinue reading “It’s a Mutant, Mutant World”

Remember the Pandemic of 2020?

These are words that give me hope. The days will pass, we’ll enter summer and hopefully suspend a bit of social distancing. We’ll spend time in our yards and visit with neighbors. Time will go by and eventually, maybe next year, we will breath a sigh of relief that it’s over. I know I’m notContinue reading “Remember the Pandemic of 2020?”

Feeling Lost, Please Send Directions

The movie, ‘Taken 2,’ has a scene that describes exactly how I’m feeling these days. Liam Neeson is helping his daughter escape an abduction. Pointing to the the roof, he says something like this: ‘You’re going to run for five hundred yards. Then get down to the street, head south for three blocks, turn leftContinue reading “Feeling Lost, Please Send Directions”

John Lennon Will See You Now

I haven’t read Mitch Albom’s book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven. But just seeing the title in my local library got me thinking about who I’d like to visit in the Eternal Afterward. There’s loved ones I’ll want to hug right away; my husband and parents, friends and relatives. Then there’s people I’veContinue reading “John Lennon Will See You Now”