Author Archives: Judith Anne Pettersen

Some people find their gardens restful. In the summer I feel the same way, but in spring, I find my plants to be very whiny. Think kindergarteners crossed with junior high kids, with a few immature high schoolers thrown in for good measure. It starts with the potted plants. I’m planting petunias with a coupleContinue reading “Everyone Shut the Hell Up”

A few years ago, after a fraught experience putting furniture together, I wrote an essay titled, The Devil is Swedish, His Name is Ikea. This past week I realized that in the world of furniture assembly, the lord of Hell is still running the show. It’s the same manuals with badly drawn diagrams and tinyContinue reading “Assembly Line at the Ninth Gate”

Last weekend I got caught up watching a movie on TV. I’m fairly certain it will never end up on Netflix or Prime, because it was awful. A Mutant World had the following problems. Bad acting Terrible directing Dreadful script Unbelievable storyline Accidentally hilarious special effects and costuming (The mutants looked like they were fleeingContinue reading “It’s a Mutant, Mutant World”

There’s something strange going on with me. It has to do with prayer, but I also have some questions for my atheist friends. Like, what are your go to phrases for hard times? I tend to cry ‘O God,’ when things get tough. Or even, ‘Help me Jesus!’ if the situation feels dire. This canContinue reading “Oh, The Void!”

Thank you to Broadview magazine for printing my essay about my husband’s last day of life. I’m so grateful to the editors for their help. I’ve subscribed to this wonderful journal for years, and never imagined I would one day share a story there. Here is the link. How my husband and I spent ourContinue reading “The Last Day”

I have a confession to make. I have never been able to get through the novel lending this blog post its title. I pride myself on loving literary books—I’ve read War and Peace—it’s hard! But Gabriel Garcia Marquez did not find a reader in me. Ironically, when I was trying to get through it aContinue reading “A Hundred Years of Solitude”

These are words that give me hope. The days will pass, we’ll enter summer and hopefully suspend a bit of social distancing. We’ll spend time in our yards and visit with neighbors. Time will go by and eventually, maybe next year, we will breath a sigh of relief that it’s over. I know I’m notContinue reading “Remember the Pandemic of 2020?”

I didn’t think I’d revisit the Breakfast Club movie anytime soon, but I’m a lot more open to watching things again under the circumstances. (If you’re reading this in fifty years and no one is around, we had a Pandemic in 2020.) Anyway. I was thinking about this one part, where the kid writes theContinue reading “Untitled”

The movie, ‘Taken 2,’ has a scene that describes exactly how I’m feeling these days. Liam Neeson is helping his daughter escape an abduction. Pointing to the the roof, he says something like this: ‘You’re going to run for five hundred yards. Then get down to the street, head south for three blocks, turn leftContinue reading “Feeling Lost, Please Send Directions”

I haven’t read Mitch Albom’s book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven. But just seeing the title in my local library got me thinking about who I’d like to visit in the Eternal Afterward. There’s loved ones I’ll want to hug right away; my husband and parents, friends and relatives. Then there’s people I’veContinue reading “John Lennon Will See You Now”