Let’s face it. We need to talk about our faces. Like, what the hell? You live for thirty, forty years and that image in the mirror doesn’t change all that much. But you keep living your life (with gratitude, because not everyone gets to do that) and it starts to feel like time has spedContinue reading “Dear Boomer”
Author Archives: Judith Pettersen
Reunion
In the middle of September, I attended a Brandon University reunion. My third one, and not even mine, really. The class of 74 belonged to my husband. I’m not sure what it was about my own class of ’76, but apparently, we weren’t much fun and had no interest in reuniting. This time it wasContinue reading “Reunion”
Bug
Last fall I was in bed at my daughter’s house when a moth swooped past my head to brush against my cheek. I’m from northern Manitoba, so I’m used to bugs. Mosquitoes, house flies and a hairy spider or two have all been late night house callers. Over the last seven years I have takenContinue reading “Bug”
You Again!
I made an unfortunate discovery this summer. Apparently, you can’t just keep adding stain to your deck year after year and expect it to stick. It needs tough love to make it last. My friend Gaye offered to help, since they own a powerwasher. I’m almost certain I used a garden hose with poor pressureContinue reading “You Again!”
Love Story
To misquote author Erich Segal, what can you say about a girl who died? That she was beautiful? That she was loved? Yes. But since her loss has left me…all of us, with a ragged wound that refuses to heal, I’m first going to talk about how damned annoying she could be. Susan was aContinue reading “Love Story”
Bachelor Billionaires…They’re Selling like Hotcakes!
I belong to a cheap bookbuying club that discounts all kinds of books. It lets you pick from a few different genres, and every day you have the option of selecting anywhere from 5 to 7 options. I’ve found some excellent reads there. But if you’ve even hinted that you can handle a romance novel,Continue reading “Bachelor Billionaires…They’re Selling like Hotcakes!”
The Truth About Hipster Beards
(A reprint from 2017) Once upon the new millennium, a guy looked at a photo of Sigmund Freud and said to himself, my facial hair envy is out of control. I must have that beard. I’ll shag it up, grow it longer, and throw testosterone around like a final sale at Sears. In an alternateContinue reading “The Truth About Hipster Beards”
Someone Call the Fire Department
A few strange things have happened over the last few weeks. First, the top of my deodorant stick broke off. I was heading out on a trip and I hate wasting money so I found a tiny plastic bag I’d saved from Baba’s Bulk Bin, and shoved the piece in there. I am nothing ifContinue reading “Someone Call the Fire Department”
Don’t Let Me Die Wearing Gray Underpants
Comfortable underwear has been my jam since I grew old enough to care. My preferred fabric is cotton, my style, granny. Back when I was nine months pregnant with our first child, I took to wearing my husband’s cotton jockey shorts because nothing else fit me. When Clarence saw me, his face fell, like this.Continue reading “Don’t Let Me Die Wearing Gray Underpants”
If I Were in Charge of Time
I was listening to the Current on CBC radio, where professor Rob Cockcroft discussed the construct of time. In other words, humans created the idea of time. Five thousand years ago, people like the Babylonians and Egyptians decided they needed to measure the day in hours. “The slaves are working 24/7 on that pyramid,” boastedContinue reading “If I Were in Charge of Time”
