More Walking Dead (I know… I’m Sorry!)

Writing another blog entry about the TV show is the psychological equivalent to holding hands with other viewers. It’s the connection I need to sustain me when the cast is struggling to survive. Which is always. Also, I get to list things that annoy me about other viewers while staying well out of reach.

Sensible watchers live in the hope that all will be well with Rick and the Gang. Maybe someone will figure out a cure. Or find a safe place for them to live. From week to week, we hold our collective breath and pray no one else we love dies. Because it happens a lot.

The Talking Dead invites famous fans to discuss the night’s episode. I enjoy that. But some guests are complete idiots. Fans like Sarah Silverman, who live for more blood and gore. “More zombies!” they cry shrilly. “Kill more people! Keep it going!” Well, we all want to keep it going, but not like that!

These gore loving, negative Nellies speak for a minority of the Walking Dead family. I can’t help wondering, how were they raised? Do they consider Cormac McCarthy’s novel, ‘The Road,’ a light situational comedy? I feel no connection with these fans whatsoever. But there are many like me out there. I just know it. So in the interest of my own mental health, I am emailing the show’s producers with the following suggestion.

Make Walking Dead buttons for fans to wear that stipulate preference. There would be the “No More Deaths of Main Characters!” buttons. The rest would read, “More zombies! Who cares about Darryl!” Only two teams. From this moment, you must decide who you are in the world. Do you want mayhem for your own cruel enjoyment? Or survival and character development? Please choose wisely. If you pick the second, you are dead to me.  Pardon the pun.

Wearing buttons makes a lot of sense because then we know who to approach on the street. We could hold spontaneous fan meetings all around the world. If I was in Tokyo, I would find my people. I couldn’t understand a word they were saying, but we would make misty eyed contact, perhaps hug before saying goodbye. It would be enough.

Feel free to accost me on the streets of Flin Flon. But only if you’re on the right team. So choose wisely. If you pick the wrong button and the world turns dark, we’ll know who the bad guys are. The potential, ‘Team Cannibal.’ People who were probably happy when certain characters (I won’t spoil it!) died.

 Ahhhh. Now that I’ve shared, I feel so much better. I’ll see you at the Orange Toad for our first ‘Darryl lives forever!’ group meeting. If you disagree with my point of view, then I’ll meet you at dawn on number ten highway. Michonne will be there with her katana. (Of course she’s on my side! Duh!)

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