Author Archives: Judith Pettersen

Once upon the new millennium, a guy looked at a photo of Sigmund Freud and said to himself, my facial hair envy is out of control. I must have that beard. I’ll shag it up, grow it longer, and throw testosterone around like a final sale at Sears. In an alternate scenario, the same manContinue reading “The Truth About Hipster Beards”

A few weeks ago we harvested our generous tomato crop, set the produce inside the house and left town. Upon our return, a problem emerged in a very literal way. As I stepped into the upstairs bathroom, a cloud of fruit flies mistook me for a rotten banana and swarmed like a death cloud. “FruitContinue reading “Murder, She Wrote”

In our mid-twenties, my husband suggested we quit our teaching jobs to travel through Asia from Turkey to Nepal. The Encounter Overland company would supply the tents, food, converted army truck, and eighteen more people from all over the world. I pictured myself on this exciting new adventure, tanned and fit in my new hikingContinue reading “Risky Business”

Culture Days, an end of September cross Canada celebration, is a wild weekend party and an endurance test that I have failed. I’m down with the flu, but Crystal Kolt has to be feeling even tougher. She spends the whole weekend running through the streets of Flin Flon shouting, ‘You’ve got culture! You’ve got culture!Continue reading “Got Culture?”

While traveling through Asia in a converted army truck with a group of zany folks from around the world, we were almost through Turkey when we broke down in a small Kurdish village called Yuksekova. The guidebook we used said not to stop there. Not for lunch, not for tea. It’s larger now, and moreContinue reading “Break Down”

A month ago, my husband had a heart attack. It was completely unexpected and taught me something I didn’t know about myself. (Yes, I’ve made this all about me.) I realized that when life takes a dystopian turn, I don’t panic. I just become very stupid. Uhhhhhhhhhh, is what goes through my head. Or somethingContinue reading “Total Eclipse of the Heart”

When Clarence and I were traveling through Asia with Encounter Overland, we camped in a field in Turkey across from the Greek island of Lesbos. We were new to the group, maybe a week in, and as we set up our tents and built a campfire, someone brought out a bottle of Turkish vodka. AnotherContinue reading “Two Shots of Happy”

Our upstairs bathroom toilet has been breaking my spirit for over a year now. Nothing ever flushed on the first try, or even the second. No problem if the contents were yellow, because we’re kind of mellow people, anyway. But when it’s brown…well. It’s a big faker, that toilet. Lots of swirling, then nothing. ‘JustContinue reading “Game of Thrones”

When I was seventeen, my sisters Linda, Susan and I traveled to California for the month of August. The furthest we’d been from home was Jasper, Alberta, since our usual family vacation meant going away to the farm. I know. That sounds like a euphemism for being killed. But we truly loved the farm. OnceContinue reading “California Girls”

After our third baby was born, my husband made the nerve wracking decision to have a vasectomy. Having been through childbirth three times, I had to hide my lip curl at his anxiety. ‘Try passing a bowling ball,’ I wanted to say. Okay, did say. His only request was that I accompany him for theContinue reading “The Vasectomy Song”